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Starlight Drifter

I’ll call you my starlight,

Heaven knows it to be true,

Eyes wide open,

Teary of the ocean blue,

You say you don’t love me,

And indeed it could be true,

Somewhere along the horizon,

Lost inside of you,

I’m nearby just floating,

A wave that hasn’t fallen,

Ten years for longing,

Another for the fall,

You say you don’t love me,

Hear me calling for yours,

Endlessly be searching,

Midnight, past life — my starlight


Poems are hard when you have nothing to do. Today was too busy, however. I feel rushed all of a sudden. Times like this I’m glad I have nothing but my thoughts. Maybe I dwell on them more to distract myself.

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The Past Comes Back

The most interesting thing happened last night, “Danny let’s talk”. It was from someone I used to love deeply, but due to rampant uncontrollable drug binges and round the clock drinking, drove away. I take full responsibility back then for ruining our relationship and lying to her for so long about it. She found out the very night she needed me the most and get, I was too high to physically get off the couch.

Eventually, I came clean but knew the end was near. Some time later, I wrote her a long apology never expecting her to see it on Messenger or reply back. It was so long ago and I’ve regretted what happened ever since.

I’m not sure where this is going or why she chose now to talk to me again, but I’m happy yet cautious. Delighted yet apologetic. Alert yet slowing.

I’m glad we’re talking again. Later world.

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Drifting Thoughts

Drift with me and maybe we’ll go,

Farest reaches of the beyonds we know,

Heaven in the skies and far below,

How the times have changed like droves,

I see the face of a thousands smiles,

Hands to the end and by my side,

Let her go til we die,

An angel from the skies living a lie,

I hear a echo from the ghost,

Hear her follow from the ocean coast,

Cascades of waves of the sea like rose,

Mercy feeling dying with no hope,

—–

I see ghosts but only in the mind. Everyone wants what they don’t have. Perhaps I want what I can’t relive. Time doesn’t heal all wounds.

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Lone Hearts for Two

I wish you knew,

I wish you cared,

Chrome hearts lies of the feelings true,

Tell me now,

Tell me what’s new,

Drifting hearts of the heaven’s blue,

Skies of the moon,

And the seashore cruise,

Longing for the for the castaway’s cruise,

How I wished,

How it was news,

Echos for the lonely hearts blues,

—-

The past has a way of sneaking back into your life. Old feelings for a new person — haunting you like a ghost that’s never left.

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The Feeling

I feel for feelings,

Twinkle lights of the evening,

Diamond rings for never leaving,

Tell me why couldn’t be without reason,

I see eyes that haven’t seen me,

Many years gone and I’m not weary,

How you came and went like the season,

We were fairy tales without merry endings,

—-

Today was bloody awful, but this poem almost gets my mind away from it. My co-worker said I had the calmest voice out of everyone she speaks to. My day was made.

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Did We…

Did we not love?

On island waves and powder sand of no mans land,

Did we not believe?

Two souls wandering alone in the island cove,

Did we not see?

How time was against us like a torment to no end,

—-

Poetry comes more naturally when I have a long day, but find myself completely unable to sleep. Mercy. Please.

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Ghosts of Summer

You don’t have to be a bother,

Coldest stares of the past lovers,

Did we not try harder?

Running wildly into the night like no other,

Lets call her,

Ghostly hallows of the bother,

She left before we called it over,

Drifting coasts of the endless summer,

She came and she gone before I could love her…

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Baby…

I see the face of a thousand lives,

Scarlet rose without a petal for mine,

Was it fate to know we tried,

For a hundred times,

Broken love for the passing time,

The clock hits twelve on the and where we lie,

Lonely hearts that weep and cry,

Call me a monster until I die,

Baby — no more tears and endless cries,

—–

Give her the world and all the oceans within, and just maybe she’ll change her mind.

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Stay A While

Darling stay a while,

A minute or two more,

I have too much to say,

And the feelings are warm,

Is the world against us?

The pushing and the pull

A current flows between us

And we’re drifting ashore,

I hear a silence in the night,

The crashing waves below,

I see the glow of the moon,

But it’s empty in the day,

 

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Never Again

You met me at my highest of highs. It was interesting for me — or the new me at the time. I felt on top of the world for what felt like forever once I turned my life around. All those months and years culminating to our chance encounter that one day. How lucky. The universe threw me a bone and I instantly wanted to know more about you. Our conversations were short, but the itch was there.

One thing lead to another and we were texting. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I was curious and perhaps you were too. Everyone loves the beginnings of a relationship — how could they possibly not. Call me crazy, but I was confident and people tend to like that. I knew what I wanted and you had to be in picture. Maybe I’m a fast worker, but just the following week, we were official. It’s a common theme in my life. Snap my fingers and there I am again — commitment, but without any idea of the consequences that were to come.

I loved you. You quickly opened up — both the good, bad, and the better not said. Nothing bothered me too much. Relative to my life, it felt a walk in the park. I told you all my deepest darkest secrets and you felt connected to me deeply. We peeled back the first few layers and soon we were both vulnerable. Words can bond us, but now drive us apart in an instant.

It wasn’t easy by any means. You had a temper only your most trust friends knew and saw. You told me you were sad and for a very long time. It saddened me, but I hid it. What can I do, really? I didn’t see myself as your magic bandaid in life and I kept that thought in the back of my mind. Before we knew it, you couldn’t leave me out of your sight.

I absolutely hated this about you. The all too typical clingy girlfriend who hassled and nagged when the other party wasn’t responding. It was a warning sign for things to come, but I told myself that’s just how some people are. We lived together for months on end — never being more than a few feet away from each other. It was fun in the beginning, but I quickly wanted space. I wanted out, but you disagreed by using the silent treatment.

It’s not like I wanted to upset you. You had one idea of the relationship and I had mine. I wanted more independence and you wanted more of me. I could give you the entire world, but I knew it would never satisfy you. Even when I was away, it felt like I couldn’t get you out of my sight. The constant barrage of texts and messages overwhelmed me. I hated it and even now when someone does the same thing.

Perhaps you still have some hostility for me for calling it off. I don’t miss you a bit. I call this time in my life a lesson for the future. Never again.