It Was Nice While It Lasted

What do you get when you have shitty roads and car with low profile tires: a totalled vehicle. The car I bought less than 2 months ago crashed violently into the curb, a tree and a parked car in front.

Fuck me right? It’s gonna be a total loss and now I have to go about buying another. Good grief. Can everything stop fucking with me ready?

I had a mild concussion and am still recovering. That’s what happens when your head smashed into a steering wheel. I’m uncharacteristically stuttering a lot with each sentence but I’ll have a doctor check me up for anything serious. Fuck this shit.

Later world.


Don’t Look Back

The past has a way of sneaking back often when it’s unwanted.

Through careful observation, my two best friends are routinely stuck in the past. One of them hasn’t been in a relationship since 2012, while the other left town to leave his troubles only to have them reappear in a different city. Yikes. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll call them Friend 1 and Friend 2 respectively.

Friend 1

From what I know, his first and only relationship brought him to the brink of implosion. I was there through much of the glory years of rose-colored lenses. He was happy and we all saw it. She told me he was the jealous type, but I think it’s to be expected in she’s your first and only. For what felt like overnight, she broke it off with him and left him sad and depressed. Mix in a large amount of alcohol and an angered emotional state and you have a recipe for disaster.

That was 7 years ago and to this day, when he’s drunk enough, he’ll tell me how much of an ill-effect this break up had on him. It’s quite sad and disheartening to have one bad relationship linger so much in someone’s consciousness. It’s one of the risks you take in being with someone — vulnerability is a double edge sword. Love and feelings have a more profound impact, but leaves you open for the sting that jealousy or a break up brings.

To say he hasn’t fully moved on would be an understatement. While we normally hang out in the likes of Highland Park and Glendale, he refuses to go to Pasadena at the off chance he may run into her. This is absolutely implausible considering the size of the city and the places we normally go to.

Friend 2

I like to call it like I see it. He’s a white knight and often finds himself chasing back the same woman we both know isn’t right for him. He thinks he can save her and help with her issues. It was back in 2013 when he first told me about her. By my recollection, I didn’t like anything he said, so I told him upfront: she’s not right for you and has a lot of personal issues. What the fuck?

Needless to say, this upset him, but he brushed it off as nothing. I knew it wouldn’t end well from the get go. Fast forward to the present, he informed me she moved to the same city as him, unknown to him. Supposedly, they have broken up, but that still leaves the issue of sleeping together problematic. While we were both drinking at a local bar, he informed me he got her pregnant and had to pay for an abortion.

I was angered and upset beyond belief. “Are you fucking serious? Bro, how the fuck did that happen?” It was something uttered along those lines. He says this is the last straw and swore left and right this was the end. I want to believe it, but I’ve heard that like a broken record for the past several years. Let’s hope for the best for his sake.



Past > Present > Future

The past has a way of coming back to bite you. You run as fast as you can from it, but its’ grasp is all reaching. It’s no wonder some people are stuck in the past. It haunts you like the ghost of every winter. Think of all the actions and events you wish you could undo. I have several. Don’t get into that car, don’t make that turn, don’t jump, etc. Actions have consequences and you can’t take it back.

Hindsight is everyone’s ghost when the unspeakable happens. My thoughts dwell on past-present. It’s the only two points of time anyone cam be sure of. It’s not some hopeful thought for what tomorrow brings. You can’t see the future, but you’ve already experienced the past and the present state.

What is tomorrow without letting go of yesterday?