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Thankfully (Not Yet)

Honestly, I needed to learn to be a bit more content with life. The lingering feeling of never having enough only makes life more depressing. I’m probably crazy — right? Last year was great and much was accomplished in the self-improvement realm and career wise. I feel so caught up in the fast lane, the days all feel like a never ending blur. It’s the long exposure that fails to fully capture the moment. The streaks of light from cars on the freeway in Downtown. I’m still and everyone is moving all around me like one of those cliche b-rolls on YouTube.

In the never ending expanse of life with limitless possibilities of where I can end up, is this not bothersome to think about? Live in the moment as some would say, but without the guiding light, you might spend all life wandering. Fuck that — however terrifying that can be.

I’ve changed my hair, my car, my attitude — but what next?

Later world.

 

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I’m Sorry

Feel sorry for we can’t love,

Not a whisper or cry,

No light above,

You felt so warm and all I was,

Just another soul,

For the time once was,

I had you close and to the night,

Like a prince and forever us,

Hear the cries and see the darkest skies,

Of our time that gone and not enough,

Taken by the man who never must,

I lost you then like just a gust,

If only you what could be us,


Writing a poem is much like a window into the soul. I suppose my own is more open to digging and searching. Words don’t always convey the full meaning of how I’m feeling or thinking, but it’s close. We exist to feel and being able to put that into words is an impossible task. I won’t keep trying. All I hope for is a random spark or two in the night,

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Away We Go

Run away with me,

And away we go,

Where the skies are blue,

And the fields are gold,

Like diamond rings

For the times are old,

This feeling is new

And a hand to hold,

Were running into the sun

To place where one,

A billion stars

And here are none,

Darling — just once…

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An Eternity

I’ve waited an eternity,

A year or two more,

Several seasons ago,

And all of the moons before,

What is love my dear?

Longing for you and us,

How can’t you see it all along,

The desire for us to belong,

We call it names and puzzles too,

How we can dodge the feelings of true,

Help me love and to know,

How we can go on without us to hold,

—-

To love is to long for what you can’t have. Hope she reciprocates. The best ones are the ones only in dreams. How tragic.