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Sleepless & Restless

It’s 1 AM and I cannot for the life of me sleep. It’s awful and I’m just so bothered by how work is affecting me, I feel like I’m drowning. Problem after problem. Bullshit on top of bullshit. This totally fucking sucks. As my friend told me over the phone repeatedly, “Don’t kill yourself over it”. She’s probably on to something. I tend to let work-life consume me.

It’s the serpent at sea and I’m only on a small raft. How did everything get so complicated all of a sudden? Roll with the punches as many would say, right? I would press reset if there was some magic button to start over. The thought of that seems so alluring ever since this whole year started.

What a mess. Is it terrible to know I have a lot going for me, but have the nuances of life negatively impacting my life? Life’s a bitch. Now if only I would fall asleep already. Later world.

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3:08 AM Thoughts

I’m not too good at sleeping, which makes my 8AM-5PM schedule hard on my body. Wine helps, but some days, like this night, I wake up early. REM sleep doesn’t seem to be happening. Poor me.

When I’m met with this type of predicament, I let my thoughts trail off to whatever time period it finds itself. Music helps with my time traveling. I have one song in particular I rediscovered — Open Up Your Arms by Ren Harvieu. It’s beautiful.

This song gives me the chills and it has something to do with her voice. The hairs on my skin stand up and I suddenly feel colder. It’s amazing and intense. It was around June 2012 when this song was first released. At the time I felt on top of the world. I was in a good place in life — simply cloud nine.

The song’s lyrics are easy. A man and a woman are fighting and one of them wishes he’ll open up to her. She calls for him. It repeats “open up your arms” over and over hoping he’ll embrace her once more.

Open up your arms.
Let me in…
Let me in before it’s too late darlin’
Open up your arms.
Let me in…
Let me in…
Before it’s too late

I miss 2012. This was my anthem. Take me back. Later world.