For several years, I witnessed your fall from grace. A lesion of the mind and clouded judgement. In all the chaos, I feel as if you think you’re more than human. As if you don’t realize your true vulnerability. I’ve seen you stumble, mope around, teeter on the brink of death, and yet, you don’t see the light. I call it luck. You see it differently. Of the times you were depressed, I went against my better judgement and let it continue. I fed you poison, the easy fix, a pill to make it all go away. Had I seen how you are now, I would have never let you have them, but I did. That’s on me.
I’ve seen you at the bottom. Completely unrecognizable and incomprehensible. It was glimpse into your true self. Not a mask, not an illusion, just unfiltered you. I can’t say I was too surprised. We all suspected it for so long. You felt relief and we lingered to help. But it was just that — a one time deal. Lives carry on and we haven’t address the bigger issue you’re facing. It’s funny. I’ve been open, but you have yet to do the same. I don’t blame you. Not everyone is ready to let others in.
I had my brushes with death and so have you. We have that going for us. We’re alive for now. I truthfully felt I was no better off than you were, but it’s taken a turn for the worst. I found the light and I’m keeping it open for you.