Today, I came home from work to some hard news. My “Grandpa” from my mom’s side of the family passed away…
He was in his 90s, always told me to work hard, make money, and buy a nice car — something every Chinese family says is a measure of success. I knew him all my life since I could remember. He always had the nicest things to say about me regardless of how I was doing — impressed even. I’m a little shocked by the sudden news.
I’ve noticed when you’re a child, your family tends to shield you away from someone’s passing. As you become older, you hear about it more and more — making an impact to your year. I suppose by that reason, I don’t deal with losing family members too well. My mom is sad. I am sad. We’re all a little sad. Death comes knocking.
I’ll never forget the last time I saw him. It was a Saturday. He came over and sat across from me. Asked me what I did for work. I told him marketing and he enthusiastically replied, “Marketing? There’s a a lot of money to be made doing that.” Indeed, there is. He was a good man.
It’s a cruel world we live in. You really don’t miss them until they’re dead and gone.
Throughout life, you go on living missing those you wish you saw once more. It’s a reminder just how short life is and how precious the time we do have is. It grounds you. Gives you urgency. It’s motivation. Nevertheless, a very sad and tragic one at best.
I often wonder who’s next. If I had the ability to see into the future, would I spend more time for them knowing their fate? Would I change anything about myself now to appease them? Would it soften the blow of having to say goodbye? Life is a journey afterall. People come and people go. Sometimes you’re not ready to say goodbye.