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BLM: Among Other Things

Everyone is caught up on Black Lives Matter. I usually see a dozen or so posts on social media — my only one being Instagram. While I admire the armchair-level of political activism my generation easily gravitates towards, I personally haven’t devoted any time to expressing support for the movement.

One of my friends says this is inherently wrong. My lack of support doesn’t mean I don’t care — I’m preoccupied with life of my own and if this year wasn’t such a let down, perhaps I would feel differently. It troubles me when so many out there are called racists when they overlook the fact COVID-19 has destroyed the livelihoods of the American people. Should one use up their time and energy to voice support of BLM or worry about themselves and how they’re going to pay bills the following month?

I’m personally in the latter camp. I’m not pinching for quarters at the bottom of my wallet nor completely dependent on the government issuing a second round of stimulus checks. All I want to focus on is myself. Anyone who disagrees is not seeing it from the other perspective. I don’t recall ever being so engulfed in work the previous years, yet feeling so distraught over how the current state of the economy has took a downturn.

I much rather everyone worry for themselves and evaluate how they’re going to pay rent, bills, and keep food on the table before channeling their energy on policy changes. I don’t believe there is a systemic issue with cops murdering people nor everything reported on the news is factually correct. Not all cops are bad. Not all Blacks deserved to be targeted. We should not be rioting because someone is unjustly murdered. Destruction of property is never justified because the public feels outraged. There’s an inherent bias I see this year with the way the world is betrayed.

To put it simply: act like a fucking human being. Don’t bring your kids out on to the streets when you know there are riots. Don’t walk into an establishment without a mask and demand service when you’re so willfully ignorant about your actual rights. Stop pretending COVID-19 isn’t dangerous. If you don’t have an idea what next month holds when you have no income, worry about that. Worry about yourself.

Later world.

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Focus

In times like what the world is facing, it’s best to stay focused on yourself and tune out all the noise. The world is in a state of chaos and disarray, but putting too much attention to events outside of your control isn’t productive or positive for your mental health. I had the local news playing in the background and while it is informative to hear how the pandemic is panning out, majority of what’s reported is fear mongering. I don’t believe this is going to end any time soon, but engulfing yourself in fear ridden news is not wanted or necessary.

The year is almost half over. While it wasn’t the best year I’ve had in recent memory, there were a number of highlights and accomplishments. I bought a new car, paid off all my credit card and student loan debt, and have the least number of liabilities since I’ve been out of school. I still have my job and business is still good relative to current affairs. There’s a lot to be thankful for and I need to remember where I stand in the present. I feel like the immovable rock on the coast being battered with waves. I won’t find myself being swept off into sea any time soon.

I have another chapter to fill, a bit this time, heavily edited and redacted. Bigger more grand goals fell through but it’s not the end of the world. I do me and will continue to do so for as long as I can. Later world.

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Sundays (Here We Go Again)

I can’t wait for this pandemic to end. Really. Shit sucks having to stay home. I’ve resorted to watching trashy television to entertain myself — Jersey Shore and 90 Day Fiance being my two favorite picks. I get a few laughs and my mind remians occupied for as long as it has my attention.

Whereas some in this predicament may sit back and enjoy the great indoors, I’ve been relentless in trying to figure out plan B. The question is when and not how. I’m optimistically projecting summer for business to resume, but worst case scenario, it lasts until the end of the year. I’m quite frankly terrified at the thought of being trapped for that long.

Fuck this shit. Even so, there’s a few silver linings to discuss. The air is much clear in all parts of the globe, carbon emissions have plummeted, gas prices are low, and if you have any money at this point of the year, your practically guaranteed to make money investing in the stock market.

I feel uneasy, but my mind gets the better of me. Be thankful. All I have to worry about is my car payment and I have a steady buffer for at least 6 months. This year isn’t what anyone could of hoped for, but if the sun rises tomorrow, expect me to take on the world yet again.

Later world.

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Uncertainy (Now / Later)

Let’s face it — the economy is fucked. I’ve filed for unemployment for the first time which isn’t the end of the world. I’m getting the max amount every week and the extra funds almost make up for my missed hours. Frankly, I should feel a bit more fortunate given the panicked circumstances.

Just earlier I realized I filed my taxes wrong. I let out a soft but slightly worried “fuck” before hopping on my computer to quickly collect all the missing information. This year, I owed money again, but thankfully, not a terrible sum. I paid the ever so loved IRS and now how to plan a trip outside to the post office. Yikes.

I’ve gotten use to the social distancing and long hours of nothingness. I don’t like it the least bit but the safest thing anyone can do is to stay put. Financially, I’m still on top of the world. I’m come to realize I’m not buying a home in 2022 as originally planned. It sucks immensely, but aggressive deadlines and goals tend to do that.

Mentally, I’ve felt better and had more cheerful thoughts. The idea this could go on all year bothers me. The news everywhere bothers me. Stupid ignorant people who don’t understand the pandemic bother me.

I get it. When in times of distress, a certain subset of the population will do stupid shit. Honestly, people with a collective IQ in the lower percentile can’t be helped. You just have to hope and pray they don’t do too much damage and poison the minds of others. My mother believes the coronavirus was manufacturered by the US to specifically target China and disrupt their economy.

Clearly, she doesn’t understand world affairs. I digress. Tomorrow is Friday — once longed for but now just a name to track the week. Note to self: hang in there. Later world.

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Faults (Let’s Not Go There)

What day of quarantine is it? At this point, I stopped giving a fuck and all the news about the coronavirus annoys me terribly. Everyone has been eagerly waiting for their $1200 “stimulus” check. I am indifferent. My parents have been furiously complaining everyday about not receiving their unemployment checks and while they are part of the millions who are out of work, I find their lack of financial responsibility throughout the years embarrassing.

When I was young, it was apparent my parents didn’t have it all together. Frivolous spending at the hands of my father squandered tens of thousands and that’s a low estimate. He’s shit with money and I believe if he suddenly won the lottery, it would all disappear in a few years. I don’t think anyone should live life worrying about paying bills or how they’re going to make it to next month. With that said, personal responsibility is more important than what the state can provide for you.

There’s a lot of complaining around here and I really fucking hate it.