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The Reality of 2020

This entire year feels like a complete failure. COVID derailed all of my plans and then some. Every forecast for what this year could has been missed. I just accept the harsh reality of what this year entails and unfortunately, it feels like it’s getting worse each passing day.

The reality of life is simple: expect not it to go according to plan. I feel like I’m just 70% there and I’m often forgetting the most mundane of tasks. I feel on edge and most people I interact with can see it. Save me? No. Worry about yourself. I’m just honest about it.

Mix an ongoing pandemic with civil unrest and you have by far one of the most unruly times in recent memory. To everyone who feels let down and disappointed, I’m here right with you. The world is chaotic and I’m looking for mercy, not a resolve.

Later world.

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Sundays (Here We Go Again)

I can’t wait for this pandemic to end. Really. Shit sucks having to stay home. I’ve resorted to watching trashy television to entertain myself — Jersey Shore and 90 Day Fiance being my two favorite picks. I get a few laughs and my mind remians occupied for as long as it has my attention.

Whereas some in this predicament may sit back and enjoy the great indoors, I’ve been relentless in trying to figure out plan B. The question is when and not how. I’m optimistically projecting summer for business to resume, but worst case scenario, it lasts until the end of the year. I’m quite frankly terrified at the thought of being trapped for that long.

Fuck this shit. Even so, there’s a few silver linings to discuss. The air is much clear in all parts of the globe, carbon emissions have plummeted, gas prices are low, and if you have any money at this point of the year, your practically guaranteed to make money investing in the stock market.

I feel uneasy, but my mind gets the better of me. Be thankful. All I have to worry about is my car payment and I have a steady buffer for at least 6 months. This year isn’t what anyone could of hoped for, but if the sun rises tomorrow, expect me to take on the world yet again.

Later world.

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Uncertainy (Now / Later)

Let’s face it — the economy is fucked. I’ve filed for unemployment for the first time which isn’t the end of the world. I’m getting the max amount every week and the extra funds almost make up for my missed hours. Frankly, I should feel a bit more fortunate given the panicked circumstances.

Just earlier I realized I filed my taxes wrong. I let out a soft but slightly worried “fuck” before hopping on my computer to quickly collect all the missing information. This year, I owed money again, but thankfully, not a terrible sum. I paid the ever so loved IRS and now how to plan a trip outside to the post office. Yikes.

I’ve gotten use to the social distancing and long hours of nothingness. I don’t like it the least bit but the safest thing anyone can do is to stay put. Financially, I’m still on top of the world. I’m come to realize I’m not buying a home in 2022 as originally planned. It sucks immensely, but aggressive deadlines and goals tend to do that.

Mentally, I’ve felt better and had more cheerful thoughts. The idea this could go on all year bothers me. The news everywhere bothers me. Stupid ignorant people who don’t understand the pandemic bother me.

I get it. When in times of distress, a certain subset of the population will do stupid shit. Honestly, people with a collective IQ in the lower percentile can’t be helped. You just have to hope and pray they don’t do too much damage and poison the minds of others. My mother believes the coronavirus was manufacturered by the US to specifically target China and disrupt their economy.

Clearly, she doesn’t understand world affairs. I digress. Tomorrow is Friday — once longed for but now just a name to track the week. Note to self: hang in there. Later world.

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Faults (Let’s Not Go There)

What day of quarantine is it? At this point, I stopped giving a fuck and all the news about the coronavirus annoys me terribly. Everyone has been eagerly waiting for their $1200 “stimulus” check. I am indifferent. My parents have been furiously complaining everyday about not receiving their unemployment checks and while they are part of the millions who are out of work, I find their lack of financial responsibility throughout the years embarrassing.

When I was young, it was apparent my parents didn’t have it all together. Frivolous spending at the hands of my father squandered tens of thousands and that’s a low estimate. He’s shit with money and I believe if he suddenly won the lottery, it would all disappear in a few years. I don’t think anyone should live life worrying about paying bills or how they’re going to make it to next month. With that said, personal responsibility is more important than what the state can provide for you.

There’s a lot of complaining around here and I really fucking hate it.

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Situation (Not Normal)

I can’t stand the coronavirus. Every bit of news is fixated on reporting cases and the awful response the US is making to keep it under control. Can it just stop already? It’s bad enough everyone is panicking and clearing out entire shelves. The elderly can’t fend for themselves and are left with scraps.

This is the real America underneath the glory we all masks ourselves with. The very country that boasts of its wealth can’t stop a pandemic. Stocks keep crashing, businesses are closing, and it’s a free for all leaving everyone to fend for themselves.

It’s so apparent living paycheck to paycheck is the norm here. Hours get cut and without warning, bills become unpaid and everyone’s livelihood is on the line. Filing for unemployment isn’t the solution. It’s a bandaid for a much greater societal problem no one wants to address. Land of the free and home of the brave means nothing with the current state of affairs as horrid as it’s become.

We should all stay safe but vigilant. Help those who are unable to do so themselves. Offer assistance and put it into action — not just suggestions for the sake of a newsworthy story. Where is the call to action? For now, it’s only going to get worse before we as a country recover.

The pandemic will pass. However, not without a wake of unemployment and suffering on every street corner. Development slows, but I’m hopeful in the near future, this can be all be put behind us and we can be one again.

Later world.

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Crisis Time: COVID-19

2020 is roaring and when I mean that, its wrath has my stock portfolio losing as much as 30%. By my count, at one point, I was at a loss of nearly ten thousand fucking dollars. To put it in perspective, the past two weeks has completely erased all gains since 2016. That is incredible. Waking up to everything in red is almost amusing after the second week of straight losses.

So everyone has been asking me am I worried? Not really. This is panic selling and eventually everything recovers — however long that may take. We had a meeting at work today to break to everyone the bad news. We’re cutting staff and anyone who’s fortunate has to work from home until further notice. This fucking blows.

I’m so bothered by the fact some of my coworkers have kids to take care of and it’s come to this. Many are going to be on unemployment and will have a hard time getting by. What has the world come to? I know this is going to keep me up at night and it shouldn’t. It’s out of anyone’s control and the circumstances surrounding this viral outbreak are unfathomable.

As I sit here constantly wondering how the hell I’m going to get in my usual work mode while painfully stuck at home, I hope and pray this is only temporary. I’m fine as usual, but knowing everyone isn’t pains me to no bounds.

Later world.