I’m Getting Old

As the title states: I’m getting old. No seriously. I have a few grey hairs and there’s no denying my age. Recently, the summer heat has me as parched as the Sahara Desert and headaches are becoming frequent. My solution, or at least my attempt, is drinking a gallon of water a day. I’ve been at it since the first of this month and I’ve already noticed a considerable difference in my skin tone.

I’ve had lingering redness for a while and this regime of reaching my daily water quota has me looking fresh and less tired. Granted there’s only so much one can do if you’re going to work at 7:30 AM and working til 5 PM, but I’m trying.

I think every guy should do something more that the typical face wash and shave in the morning. You more than likely need it. I wash my face with the Shiseido Men’s facial scrub and follow up with a shave. Afterwards, I apply a moisturizer and let that sink into my face and follow up with sunblock — all from the same line. My aunt introduced me to this brand and I definitely liking the results.

My friends consider this too much, but my masculinity is no way threatened. Last I checked, taking care of yourself is something everyone should be doing everyday — not just females.

Every couple weeks, I take a eyebrow razor to all the overgrown hairs to clean them up. This by far makes the biggest difference in my appearance. Maybe this is high maintenance or whatever clever comment someone who wishes to crack a joke at my expense, but the results don’t lie.

I remember back in the early 2000s there was a term to describe someone like myself: metrosexual? Ick. Who would of guessed self care could be so polarizing.

I’m so glad tomorrow is Friday. Later world.

I Met Someone

Ever meet someone not knowing what to expect, but suddenly being lured into the conversation? I love that. I find engaging talks to be the best part about meeting someone new. Not the typical made-up looks so many in our society desire. I think anyone can look good in makeup and a nice set of clothes, but if you peel back the superficial, you want more — a connection.

Call me a hopeless romantic searching for whatever love means in this world, but I desire someone who can hold a conversation. One that is long, engaging, varying in topics, and keeps my ears perked hoping to never miss a word.

This month is alright to put it mildly. Quite possibly the biggest understatement thus far. Later world.

BLM: Among Other Things

Everyone is caught up on Black Lives Matter. I usually see a dozen or so posts on social media — my only one being Instagram. While I admire the armchair-level of political activism my generation easily gravitates towards, I personally haven’t devoted any time to expressing support for the movement.

One of my friends says this is inherently wrong. My lack of support doesn’t mean I don’t care — I’m preoccupied with life of my own and if this year wasn’t such a let down, perhaps I would feel differently. It troubles me when so many out there are called racists when they overlook the fact COVID-19 has destroyed the livelihoods of the American people. Should one use up their time and energy to voice support of BLM or worry about themselves and how they’re going to pay bills the following month?

I’m personally in the latter camp. I’m not pinching for quarters at the bottom of my wallet nor completely dependent on the government issuing a second round of stimulus checks. All I want to focus on is myself. Anyone who disagrees is not seeing it from the other perspective. I don’t recall ever being so engulfed in work the previous years, yet feeling so distraught over how the current state of the economy has took a downturn.

I much rather everyone worry for themselves and evaluate how they’re going to pay rent, bills, and keep food on the table before channeling their energy on policy changes. I don’t believe there is a systemic issue with cops murdering people nor everything reported on the news is factually correct. Not all cops are bad. Not all Blacks deserved to be targeted. We should not be rioting because someone is unjustly murdered. Destruction of property is never justified because the public feels outraged. There’s an inherent bias I see this year with the way the world is betrayed.

To put it simply: act like a fucking human being. Don’t bring your kids out on to the streets when you know there are riots. Don’t walk into an establishment without a mask and demand service when you’re so willfully ignorant about your actual rights. Stop pretending COVID-19 isn’t dangerous. If you don’t have an idea what next month holds when you have no income, worry about that. Worry about yourself.

Later world.

IDGAF

The new rule for this month is to not give a fuck and err on the side of hedonism. This year is progressively getting worse and I’m powerless to stop it. I don’t give a fuck about Black Lives Matter. I don’t give a fuck about the next stimulus check. I don’t give a fuck if your unemployment is running out. Those issues don’t concern me. I only want to worry about myself.

Just for once, I wish people would get back to their own lives and stop pushing their interests on others. Let me be. Agree to disagree. Channel that outrage into getting your life together. Worry about paying bills on time. Learn to save for tomorrow. Get the fuck off social media.

Later world.

The Reality of 2020

This entire year feels like a complete failure. COVID derailed all of my plans and then some. Every forecast for what this year could has been missed. I just accept the harsh reality of what this year entails and unfortunately, it feels like it’s getting worse each passing day.

The reality of life is simple: expect not it to go according to plan. I feel like I’m just 70% there and I’m often forgetting the most mundane of tasks. I feel on edge and most people I interact with can see it. Save me? No. Worry about yourself. I’m just honest about it.

Mix an ongoing pandemic with civil unrest and you have by far one of the most unruly times in recent memory. To everyone who feels let down and disappointed, I’m here right with you. The world is chaotic and I’m looking for mercy, not a resolve.

Later world.

Terrible Mondays

Monday’s aren’t my favorite day of the week. I got stranded today. Thankfully, in the nice part of town and not on the side of the freeway. If there’s any silver lining to today, I had a few good laughs with my coworkers and the day was not typically busy. I’m calling this a case of bad luck. Can I expect this to week to be better? I really doubt it.

There’s always tomorrow.

June is not over just yet. How fitting the day can be so terrible.

Later world.

Awkward (Kinda)

We hired a new person at my job. A female.

Normally, I wouldn’t care to mention, but my coworker about a year ago introduced me to her. We talked and texted like the usual ways two people get acquainted. I asked her out. She said yes. And for a while this was going well until some choice words were said.

Now she works here. What an unusual year this turning out to be.

Midway 2020

Half of the year flew by. I’m a little surprised, a bit concerned, but life goes on. I haven’t preoccupied any of time with matters outside my own. I think it’s only the sane thing to do where there’s images and videos of civil unrest throughout the world.

Here’s where the year stands so far in my world:

– Exponentially increased the size of investments by a few hundred percent (up 20% overall). Amazon at $3K by end of the year.

– No debt! I have my car payment and insurance, but I can knock this out the way before years end if I wanted to.

– Plans to buy a house in Portland, Oregon. This is elaborate to say the least. Home prices in Portland can get me a 3 bedroom house for what a low priced condo costs here. I’ll buy the house and rent it out for income. This sounds doable, but logistically a nightmare.

– I helped out at least 5 people without any consideration for anything in return. I’m proud of this. I genuinely like it when friends come to me asking for help and I can do it. Feels good!

– Some friends far away smiled big and hard and I did that. Be me. Be kind.

Later world.

Fuck This Week

Wouldn’t you know it — this week sucked immensely. Fuck me. Fuck that. And my god — fuck off. One of my woke friends gave me shit for not voicing my support of the Black Lives Matter movement. I’m sorry, but I have to go to work everyday and bust ass to get several projects done. You would think your daily responsibilities that keep a comfortable living is a higher priority than going out on the streets to protest, but fuck that shit.

Different strokes for different folks. There’s this weird cloud over everyone and it doesn’t bring out the best in people. My office is littered with angry faces and people who checked out since the beginning of the month. I’m covering for everyone and this is the definition of incompetence.

Someone save me. Later world.

If the world would stop for a second, that would be great. It feels like the first time I’ve been able to stop and take a breather all week.

Easier Then & Now

Life seemed some much simpler just a few years ago. My main concern was how I was going to dig myself out of the massive amount of debt I accumulated and it alone was singular. Fast forward to now, I worry about too many things and fear not reaching my goals.

I’m certain my friends don’t share my feelings about living and pursuing all interests that lead the land of promise. Even so, I can’t help but wonder if I’m living up to my true potential. You can judge a person on their goals and aspirations, but how they plan on reaching them says volumes about their ability to be successful.

I don’t care what others may think, yet, the days feel like a never ending battle against mediocrity. I’ve done this, done that, and overcame it — what’s next for me? If the goal in life is to prosper and live a fulfilling life, I’m probably imagining there’s some finish line to this journey.

I have to ask myself what is it I want out of all of this. Money? Companionship? Family? Those are needed and although the thought of having it all is reassuring, the means to get them isn’t. I see a lot of mistakes with my own family and the consequences they must deal with. I’m only streering myself away from the same miserable fate.

2020 is the worst year yet, but not by my hands or chosing. I feel all this free time with my thoughts has started to make me reevaluate my needs, wants and desires. I can’t say I’m closer to having all the answers life throws at me. Until then, I hope to be a person of compassion and make an impact however small it may be.

Later world.