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I Passed on a Condo

A week or two ago, I got the chance to take a look at a condo for a cool $390,000. Honestly, it was nice property in a very desirable part of town where old money is prevalent and the streets are lined with trees. Was it enjoyable? Most definitely. Did I snatch it up? No. Unfortunately, it was underwhelming. This place was on the market for several months now and the price has dropped four other times according to Zillow.

The realtor seemed anxious — a bit desperate. I don’t blame them. It’s the wild wild west out here in Los Angeles and getting potential buyers in this climate is slim to none. People who have missed rent for the past few months will be met with mass evictions once July is over. Everyone is counting on a rent freeze or a second round of stimulus checks, but I highly doubt it. Online gossip is just that — fiction.

Doing the standard 20% down payment would mean I need just $78,000 liquidated from all my holdings to call it mine and not deal with the bullshit that comes with extra mortgage insurance. While I could have used the government’s first time home buyers program, honestly — it sucks. The interest rates are higher and the extra mortgage insurance does nothing for your equity. I can see why it’s attractive for many buyers. With as little as 3% down, you’re in. There’s always a catch though.

This in my opinion makes no sense. Putting down so little for a higher interest rate and insurance every month doesn’t give a lot of confidence you have all your finances together — or more bluntly — you can even afford a place. Take what you will of this, but it sounds like an awfully quick way to have yourself scrounging for money every month to make the payment.

Fuck that shit.

I digress. I’m in no rush and the real estate market here looks like it’s cooling off for once after several years of exponential gains. Patience is key. Timing is everything. I have a very large number of assets invested in a real estate in a trust. While risky, I’m certain the gains out weigh the potential for losses. The government tightened up requirements for home buyers, which makes a second real estate collapse the likes of 2008 very unlikely.

Until next time. Later world.

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I Met Someone

Ever meet someone not knowing what to expect, but suddenly being lured into the conversation? I love that. I find engaging talks to be the best part about meeting someone new. Not the typical made-up looks so many in our society desire. I think anyone can look good in makeup and a nice set of clothes, but if you peel back the superficial, you want more — a connection.

Call me a hopeless romantic searching for whatever love means in this world, but I desire someone who can hold a conversation. One that is long, engaging, varying in topics, and keeps my ears perked hoping to never miss a word.

This month is alright to put it mildly. Quite possibly the biggest understatement thus far. Later world.

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Depression? Gone

Quite frankly, I used to get depressed on a semi-regular bases. Now, I don’t.

Ever since I had my car accident last year which left me with a concussion and several other bruises, my perspective seems to have changed. While I’m sad my first car was totaled and the minor expenses I paid for my overnight hospital visit, it changed me for the better.

I’m fairly mindful of my life and would sit around lost in my own thoughts. Even though this year has been terrible being on lockdown, I’ve barely felt it affect me. I like how I feel now and my God am I thankful to still be around.

Now if only my damn car insurance wasn’t so fucking high every month. You win some. You lose some.

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Bum Da Da Bum

The day after Fourth of July is distinctive. The lingering smell of gun powder in the air and sudden silence of my surroundings brings back many fond memories as a kid. I used to like loud explosions, but now find it such an annoyance that my ears need a mute button. This month is quite lackluster and I’m often met with too much downtime. Some call it another lazy Sunday — I just can’t stand it.

Earlier this month, I moved a large portion of assets into a trust to be locked away for the next six years. By that time I’ll be thirty-five and teetering on old age that would surely force thoughts of adulthood and relationships I’ve been putting off. The current self couldn’t be bothered with the troubles of a committed relationship and the freedom that type of life brings. I’ll have to consider being tied down — how unsettling.

Whatever the next chapter brings, it’s best to consider ways to get there. Love is fickle. Relationships are complicated. My life is rather busy. And my priorities are constantly shifting. I envy those who have it all together younger than older. There’s a sense of fulfillment and destiny that people in my position don’t have just yet.

Later world.

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BLM: Among Other Things

Everyone is caught up on Black Lives Matter. I usually see a dozen or so posts on social media — my only one being Instagram. While I admire the armchair-level of political activism my generation easily gravitates towards, I personally haven’t devoted any time to expressing support for the movement.

One of my friends says this is inherently wrong. My lack of support doesn’t mean I don’t care — I’m preoccupied with life of my own and if this year wasn’t such a let down, perhaps I would feel differently. It troubles me when so many out there are called racists when they overlook the fact COVID-19 has destroyed the livelihoods of the American people. Should one use up their time and energy to voice support of BLM or worry about themselves and how they’re going to pay bills the following month?

I’m personally in the latter camp. I’m not pinching for quarters at the bottom of my wallet nor completely dependent on the government issuing a second round of stimulus checks. All I want to focus on is myself. Anyone who disagrees is not seeing it from the other perspective. I don’t recall ever being so engulfed in work the previous years, yet feeling so distraught over how the current state of the economy has took a downturn.

I much rather everyone worry for themselves and evaluate how they’re going to pay rent, bills, and keep food on the table before channeling their energy on policy changes. I don’t believe there is a systemic issue with cops murdering people nor everything reported on the news is factually correct. Not all cops are bad. Not all Blacks deserved to be targeted. We should not be rioting because someone is unjustly murdered. Destruction of property is never justified because the public feels outraged. There’s an inherent bias I see this year with the way the world is betrayed.

To put it simply: act like a fucking human being. Don’t bring your kids out on to the streets when you know there are riots. Don’t walk into an establishment without a mask and demand service when you’re so willfully ignorant about your actual rights. Stop pretending COVID-19 isn’t dangerous. If you don’t have an idea what next month holds when you have no income, worry about that. Worry about yourself.

Later world.

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IDGAF

The new rule for this month is to not give a fuck and err on the side of hedonism. This year is progressively getting worse and I’m powerless to stop it. I don’t give a fuck about Black Lives Matter. I don’t give a fuck about the next stimulus check. I don’t give a fuck if your unemployment is running out. Those issues don’t concern me. I only want to worry about myself.

Just for once, I wish people would get back to their own lives and stop pushing their interests on others. Let me be. Agree to disagree. Channel that outrage into getting your life together. Worry about paying bills on time. Learn to save for tomorrow. Get the fuck off social media.

Later world.

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The Reality of 2020

This entire year feels like a complete failure. COVID derailed all of my plans and then some. Every forecast for what this year could has been missed. I just accept the harsh reality of what this year entails and unfortunately, it feels like it’s getting worse each passing day.

The reality of life is simple: expect not it to go according to plan. I feel like I’m just 70% there and I’m often forgetting the most mundane of tasks. I feel on edge and most people I interact with can see it. Save me? No. Worry about yourself. I’m just honest about it.

Mix an ongoing pandemic with civil unrest and you have by far one of the most unruly times in recent memory. To everyone who feels let down and disappointed, I’m here right with you. The world is chaotic and I’m looking for mercy, not a resolve.

Later world.

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Terrible Mondays

Monday’s aren’t my favorite day of the week. I got stranded today. Thankfully, in the nice part of town and not on the side of the freeway. If there’s any silver lining to today, I had a few good laughs with my coworkers and the day was not typically busy. I’m calling this a case of bad luck. Can I expect this to week to be better? I really doubt it.

There’s always tomorrow.

June is not over just yet. How fitting the day can be so terrible.

Later world.

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Awkward (Kinda)

We hired a new person at my job. A female.

Normally, I wouldn’t care to mention, but my coworker about a year ago introduced me to her. We talked and texted like the usual ways two people get acquainted. I asked her out. She said yes. And for a while this was going well until some choice words were said.

Now she works here. What an unusual year this turning out to be.

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Invisible Minds

She can’t see me,

Eyes turned away to deceive me,

Summer skies til dawn for the season,

Have her walk away and she’d leave me,

Darling what is the reason?

The times are gone and beneath me,

Tell me what’s true and we’ll reason,

The souls are torn for our treason,

Lie to me now and I’ll leave for the time being,

Darling tell me the reason,

The thoughts dwell til three,

Up late in the evening and I’m now dreaming,

The past has grabbed hold and I’m not leaving,

Til we part now and I’m not breathing,

Fixations to the mind and I’m not believing,

———

I’m quite happy with how this poem turned out. Now if the rest of the world would resume, I would be so thankful. One day at a time.