(Not) What She Wants to Hear

Evidently, telling someone you’re seeing the truth doesn’t end well. The conversation about commitment got thrown around yesterday and my response wasn’t exactly what she was looking for. Does that make me a bad person? No way. You shouldn’t lie nor tell her what she wants to hear all the time. Sincerity is important and without it, the relationship is built on falsehoods.

This year being 2020 only leaves me with two years to come up with the money to buy this house or condo. It’s by far the most ambitious goal I’ve set for myself and I’m slowly inching my way up towards it. I find myself obsessing over all the details and numbers needed to come up with a six figure bank account. It’s worth it. Right?

Don’t get me wrong. As my friends have made it abundantly clear, being single isn’t the end of the world. If this year is like last year, finding dates won’t be an issue. Discovering that person who can keep the conversation interesting over dinner will be. Engage me, please. It’s weird, but once the lady in front of me utters the three words, “I like you”, I’m suddenly confused and the interest dwindles. Is this is a problem? Yeah, definitely. Why so soon? Why so fast? What is it you see in me? Surface level details are just superficial. Shouldn’t there be more weight to those words?

It a predicament nonetheless. Relationships are complex and while the thought of calling it official with someone is attractive, I honestly can’t see myself giving her the time and attention she wants. You shouldn’t half ass it. You shouldn’t love knowing you can’t be committed. You shouldn’t mislead knowing you don’t feel as strongly.

Flying solo isn’t that bad. Loving for the wrong reasons are. Later world.

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