My eyes have never been great. I spent an ungodly amount of time in front of a television as a kid and destroyed my eyesight. I can surely blame my parents for locking me up inside with nothing to do, but what’s the point. Since the 6th grade, I had to wear glasses. Wouldn’t you know it, my eyesight got progressively worse every year. That’s until I was around 20, when suddenly it stopped changing for whatever reason. I like to think the shape of my eyeballs finally reached peak football season and was coming into retirement.
First I thought this was kind of neat. I told myself, “Sweet, I can keep using the same pair of glasses every year and have spares laying around.” This however was naive. Glasses still slide off, get lost on those days you don’t have the spare, and are forever clumsy as hell. I use to think I was the shit since I had fancy black designer frames. I was wrong. After several more years of fiddling with glasses, I convinced myself to get laser eye surgery or commonly called lasik. I was going to have a laser permanently reshape my eyes. Crazy, right?
I’ve been told by my family to not mess around with your eyes too much. Having that constantly echoing in my head, I went on Yelp and picked the best place in town to get the procedure done with the newest equipment — a bit at a much higher price point. You only have one set of eyes. Would you take a risk at a cheaper place?
I had my initial consultation and check up booked within a few days. For the sake of anonymity, I’ll call my doctor Dr. K. I didn’t know this at first, but he was one of the best eye doctors in the entire nation. I literally had the best guy anywhere for this procedure — I better, considering I’m paying an arm and leg. I felt like I was in good hands. However, my check up revealed something I never known. I was diagnosed as a glaucoma candidate. The news terrified me, but Dr. K said I was still able to do the procedure and it was the best chance I could have gotten catching it now rather than when I’m older.
I dodged a bullet and could have slowly went blind without noticing. It’s funny how life will try to fuck with you when you try to do something nice for yourself. I suppose this time is all luck. My eyes have never felt better or seen so clearly. I can’t imagine slowly losing my vision. That thought is one reserved for another day — perhaps never.
Nice try world. Later.