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Peachy (Almost)

These past few days have been great — really. It’s one thing to plan for the future, but the feeling of having it all fall into place is surreal. I’ve straightened my teeth, took better care of my eyes, got to see literally the best doctor in town for a check up, and went on a date — reservations a must. Hell — I even bought an Apple watch spec’d out the the nines just as a little gift for myself recently. I’ll let Google be the judge for the price.

The battery life on the watch sucks. But honestly, I don’t have any complaints about how life is going. I believe the world is best viewed from different perspectives and anything trapping you with tunnel vision or a mental fog calls for a nice walk at night — alone, or a run to clear the mind.

Fight me, world. I’m invincible.

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Everyone vs. Me

It’s strange getting older. Everyone around me is either engaged, married, or have kids. I don’t understand thought of being married at this age. To be in your late 20s but have the realization there has be a baby in the picture. Why?

Studies show people are marrying older and having kids much later — which seems like the most logical thing to do. I can barely figure out what I want to eat for lunch, let alone contemplate the thought of a crying baby every night and day. It doesn’t seem like a good idea considering both parties have to be doing well for themselves (which is unlikely) and jeopardize their own wants over the needs of their child.

Shit. Why try and figure out a kid when you don’t have yourself figured out?

Later world.

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2004: I Thought I Was the Shit

I was last in middle school 15 years ago. I don’t miss it a bit, which only makes hearing about an upcoming class reunion strange. Through the magic of the internet, I’ve been linked to a class of 2004 account one of my old friends made. Do people really want to revisit that part of our lives — and now?

I’m a little confused. I was 13 back then and now more than twice that age. Seems silly to want to reconnect from the Xanga, Friendster and AOL era. What happened to letting go? Seeing pictures from that time make me cringe. It’s embarrassing and a lot of fun to laugh at just how uncool the cool ones look now. Isn’t that part of growing up? Realizing how blunderous your self-confidence and coolness wasn’t really there?

I’ll have more fun laughing at old pictures than any reunion. Later world.

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“I’m Better”

My co-worker said something incredibly stupid the other day. Her argument was since she makes more money than someone, she’s therefore better than them. Honestly, what an arrogant statement to make.

Since when did money make someone better? Last I checked, she had a pathetically low credit score from years of credit card debt and late payments. Just because you make money, doesn’t meet you’re good with it.

I swear I can’t stand her.

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It’s a Fucking Joke

Why are some people incapable of taking a joke? Does it require a mocking voice to get the idea across? It seems now everyone I talk too has a chip on their shoulder and takes everything literal. In more recent times, everyone is all up in arms about being politically correct, comedians — who’s very job is to be funny, can’t crack a joke without fear of Internet retaliation. Aren’t jokes just that — something you say to evoke a reaction?

We all should laugh more. I don’t get offended when my much older co-workers crack a joke or make a comment about my ethnicity or how awful I must be at driving. I know they’re not here to cause trouble and it’s nothing more than office banter.

What the fuck is going on with this world?

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The Woman Rose

Let me go,

Away to another world,

Somewhere far and none shall know,

There are stories told,

Some long and some old,

Fairytales for the woman of rose,

Gone this spring and none to hold,

Where’d she go?

Aurburn eyes and hair of gold,

Darling say it’s not so,

How you we came and you gone — no

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Adulting is Weird

Being an adult is oddly weird. You generally can’t get away with eating whatever you want and those little nagging aches don’t just magically go away anymore. Health gets serious. Today, I went in for my usual eye exam at my ophthalmologist and what normally costed hundreds without insurance was a mere $50. My medication which would be $250, now just $7.49 cents at the local pharmacy. Health insurance is one of those things everyone hates paying for every month, but is glad to have when you need it.

As for all my coworkers who picked the free health plan that doesn’t let you go to any doctor they wish, they’re going to be in for a lot of pain. Hopefully, not literally. My coworker next to me asked why my insurance costs are so much higher than everyone’s and all I had to say was there’s only so much you can cheap out on in life. Quality health care shouldn’t be one of them.

I can say with the utmost confidence I have the best doctors in town looking after my medical needs. For that little piece of mind, I’ll gladly fork over a few bills every month. Later world.

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Where Are We

It’s September — which seems kind of sudden. Overall, I feel like the year has been a mixed bag of ups and downs, sprinkled with a bit of emotional drama. The beginning of this year felt like eons ago and I was preoccupied with taking the woman that hit my car to court. It seems almost petty now that I look back at it. I realized there was likely no way someone without insurance was going to pay for the cost of my repairs. People like her suck immensely. Fuck it, right?

I had a second job which felt good to say, but in practice took a mental and physical toll. Extra income was great, but not at the cost I endured. Some lessons must be learned the difficult way and this one rocked my world, while making the days feel like an eternity. It’s true what they say, all work and no play is a recipe for disaster.

There’s always some silver linings to most hardships. Had I not felt the sting of life, I’d probably risk feeling let down again and again later down the line. Bad days are few and many, but it passes — eventually. I don’t feel bad about not having the extra money I somewhat needed. I feel for the people that suddenly left my world. The often swift and rarely seen. Often it’s the ones we wish we were closer that could be around, but the forces of the world act as repellent.

I’ve said this many times, but people come and go — not always, but eventually. It’s the inevitable much like the moon in the night sky piercing through the clouds. It’s a play of both parties that set in motion the words that would eventually separate two people. It’s a long and drawn out process. You hate to see it happen, but you find yourself latched on to the past. Memories after all can be shackles that prevent you from moving forward. This is the end for you and me — but I’m glad there was never we.

In defense of optimism, there were times life felt like I was on the highest mountain peaks. I hit it off — so it seemed at the time, with a random stranger I was eyeing at a party. The interaction was short lived, but the moment felt forever. I could not have hoped for it to have been more than what it is — a chance encounter. It’s another one of those memories that bring a slight smile to the face and corners of my mouth.

Dating is still fun and it brings a lot of excitement. I’m someone who feels strongly for another that can freely tell me all and everything about themselves — good or bad. You can say it’s something of a weakness. It’s a spell in many ways only I’m too disillusioned to see all the glaring flaws in front of me. I really need to get better at this. See them for they are and who you want them to be. Project nothing and remain seated for the often lackluster show.

Personally, I’ve done well for myself this year. Debt is at an all time low and I’m on track to have more than I could of imagined those first few years just finding myself in the real world. Hooray? The numbers grow higher, but the discontentment increases. I’m a contradiction in that sense. Work to be paid, yet have all it stashed away somewhere to not be enjoyed.

Where we in 2019? Your guess is as good as mine.

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September Blues

I’ve thought about it before, but I know it can never be a reality — the fresh start in life. It’s an interesting concept to ponder. To be able to start from the beginning, but still carry with you the experiences you felt years prior. Can it ever be a reality? Or is it just what fools think about when they find the misery associated with living too great? Recently, one of my closets friends moved to San Diego to start a new life. I’m happy for her and wish her all the best and then some. It’s incredible to know someone who follows through with their plans and see it come to fruition.

What is it really to start from the beginning? Can you really disregard all the events that shaped you before and sweep it under the rug? People carry with you in your thoughts, even if the distances become greater. Physical locales might be different and anew, but dreams transport you back to the familiar. In that sense, I don’t think you can escape the past — merely run from it.

Life carries on. Time does too. Later world.

 

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The Man Who Stole $15,000

Evidently, not everyone takes leaving a job so smoothly. My coworker who left in a mild fit of rage a while back stole copies of all the debit cards. My boss woke up today at 6 in the morning to multiple fraud alerts and notifications. It was a total shit show. Normally, we’re not quick to point the finger at someone inside, but most petty criminals the age of 22 with no future prospects aren’t good at covering up their crimes. My coworker paid 2 parking tickets, bought a set of tires to be sent to his home address, and went on a wild shopping spree on Amazon.

I get it — the guy didn’t like working here, but are you fucking kidding me? He’s stolen enough money to be charged with larceny and face serious jail time. Worst part is, I use to vouch for him repeatedly by telling everyone his bouts of rage were nothing more than built up frustration.

You think you know some people and then they do this. Hell — who do I know?