I think if I was doing as well as I am a few years ago, I’d think I was on top of the world. Unfortunately, I don’t. I read an article the other day that said how some people find themselves forever trapped in the loop of wanting more. Say I reached the top at one point — eventually, the feeling goes away and there’s a higher plateau to climb up. I want more, but I know I shouldn’t. It’s an uneasy predicament I’m faced with every year with seemingly no end in sight. My head tells me I could work a little harder and with enough determination, I’d reach a new high. This is both good and bad — but mostly bad in that I may never feel content with myself.
Maybe I just naturally gotten use to overachieving. It’s has a few advantages with a strong work ethic one of the better qualities to have when I find myself buried in work at the office. My grandfather use to tell me over and over hard work pays off in the end. He isn’t wrong, just I tend to not give myself a much needed break when my body tells me no more.
I think anyone who finds themselves at the top should stay put and stop to smell the roses. Enjoy the moment a little longer before wandering up the imaginary social ladder. Whatever goes up must come down and my problem right now is I can’t fathom wanting to look any direction but up.
2019 — When I realized I wanted too much and I can’t tell myself no.