Frustration

It’s been a difficult two weeks. Someone died. Someone almost died. The news is fixated on every mass shooting. And everyone at the office can’t seem to get their priorities in order. Figures. I suppose when I’m met with day after day of let downs and feelings of uneasiness, the best course of action is just to relax and do nothing — something I’ve never been particularly good at.

It’s days or weeks like this that make me feel like my life is crashing right before my eyes. Can I blame someone? My family? My predicament? My less than stellar habits? Progress feels like it’s at a stand still when just a month earlier I was feeling the highest of highs.

I often find myself day dreaming for more — the reality I wish was true. Some call it the perfect life, but if I know better, perfection is often sought and rarely seen. I love escapism for that reason. This world can be so off, but inescapable only in your mind.

The other day, I was helping a friend with her computer. A couple hours of tech support later, she had everything she needed as she requested. Normally, when a friend asks for my help or even a favor, I don’t think too much of it — I just do it. Everyone needs help every now and again, right? She was absolutely adamant about taking me to lunch or dinner to repay me. I resisted and fought back, but she was persistent. I’ve never been too good at letting friends do something nice for me. Honestly, I’m awful at it. I do it because I want to, not so much as to be rewarded.

Note to self: get better at this.

Later world.

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