Self-Reflection: Mid-2019

I’m under the impression most don’t bother to take a step back to smell the roses.

It’s quite easy to get caught in the the daily bustle of 9-5 and whatever else accompanies the night. Life continues onwards and lives slowly diverge. I can only imagine links becoming weaker with each passing year. For this reason, the rare occurrence of reconnecting remains elusive. I find myself caring less about what others do and post publicly. It remains a mystery why social media is still as popular as it is. I have my own life to worry about. Why be preoccupied with someone else’s?

I have a tendency to be overly critical of myself — which may be a source of contention between who I was and who I want to be. Two selfs of the same person from two periods of time. My friends like to point out I’m over planning to some degree for the future given the likelihood it won’t always pan out the way I imagined. That is true, but fuck me for trying, right?

More or less, I’m where I wanted to be a few years ago. My job is a career and I’ve been legally appointed President for our new sister label. Shit is pretty wild to think about and I don’t think the gravity of the situation has been felt just yet. I’m sure once I finally launch our new brand, I’ll have a new found appreciation for just how fortunate I have it. It’s funny. Earlier this year I told myself summer season was when the year peaks and I’m right on time.

The extra income would be nice too. I’ve been planning to buy a home for the better part of two years and haven’t had any intention of backing down just yet. There’s a few logistical issues involved with trying to come up with a-hundred grand on my own, but I think I have a good track record with my finances. I should really spend some time to reevaluate my motives for owning a home, other from the obvious bragging rights that come with being a millennial and a property to my name. Everyone would be impressed, but what would it do me?

Seriously. Maybe I’m just weird for having these thoughts. My friends don’t seem to get me anymore, which doesn’t help with finding solace in myself. At the very least, they’re just around for the show. Everyone more or less does their own thing these days and we don’t always have the time to socialize to the extent we once did. It feels like we’re flying solo, but what else is new.

It’s going to be a great year. Later world.


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