Life has a way of throwing me off some days. I can feel on the top of the world and then feel completely mentally drained on other days. Either way, it’s a rollercoaster of feelings, emotions, and a fair bit of stress that comes with adulting.
This month, I’ll be moving out to Los Angeles just outside of my hometown. I’m ridding myself of the 90% of the people who cause me issues. I’m relieved, excited, and somewhat nervous. My baby sister is upset I’m “bailing” but I can’t reasonably have her understand where I’m coming from. I feel gracious I have people who are looking out for me and taking me in like their own flesh and blood. It’s something I seldom see with my own immediate family all my life. What do they know? Fuck them.
Moving isn’t too difficult. I’ve had most my possessions in large containers since graduating college. Any unneeded junk or unused items have long been sold or given away to charity. I can’t stand a life of excess and the material. Having more isn’t making me any less stressed. It’s been the plan since I realized the very people who brought me into this world don’t have my best interest in mind.
Since the beginning of April, my dad has been without a job. You’d think someone approaching sixty would have his shit together, but he’s never been one to be independent and fend off the world without a bit of assistance. It’s been over thirty days and he hasn’t taken his stint of unemployment seriously, which has the added effect of completely rubbing me the wrong way. My dad is the anti-me and that’s not going to change. I don’t who that woman is he keeps talking on the phone for hours on end, but I and everyone else has their suspicions.
I’ve never been one to hold too much hostility for family. At the end of the day, they or I rather, is stuck with them for the foreseeable future. I find it necessary to let by bygones be bygones and just rid myself of any negative feelings for them in order to be the bigger man. I sent my parents a few thousand in cash to keep them afloat. Part of me has been torn on whether this will come back to bite me in the ass, as it is usually the case. My friends tell me I did the right thing as is the little voice in my head acting as my moral compass.
Just yesterday, my best friend told me his bank account was over withdrawn by several hundred and had no means of digging himself out of this debt. He was stressed and I can’t stand by knowing this is happening. I asked how much he needed and I just doubled it. Fifteen hundred dollars was sent to him on the spot. He was speechless, cried a bit, and I told him I would always have his back til the day I die because his is my brother. We stick together to the end.
Welcome aboard my little ship. I hope everyone is there with me no matter where we end up in the journey we call life.
It’s been an interesting month. Later world.