Not a lot went well this month. Between my court case, lack of healthy habits, being stressed out over work and feeling a bit lost, life is kicking my ass. And hard. I guess you can say it’s been a perfect storm. Plans fell through and I was powerless to stop it. My appetite is practically nonexistent which raises a lot of concern. I’ve never been too good at eating, which puzzles some of my friends. I routinely fall asleep before 9PM and wake up around 4AM. I’d like to get a few more hours in, but the mind is busy and turning it off isn’t an option. Safe to say I feel a little overwhelmed and I don’t expect anyone I’m close to to understand where I’m coming from. I’m different. Story of my life.
I’ve wondered how other people deal with life. Do they watch TV? Play video games? None of which I like to do. I think spending all my time reading seems like a better idea, but we can agree to disagree. I don’t know what to the fuck to do in my leisure time. Perhaps that’s something I need to work on. I like to think I’m mindful of everything around me and how I’m feeling. To be in tuned with a frequency if you will. Seems like recently, all I’m hearing is static and noise. What a bitch.
My friends mean well. They’re all great and have my best interests in mind. Even with that, I don’t think they know what am going through and will jump the gun in trying to cheer me up. Does anyone really get you in life? Who knows. I don’t feel alright and this seems all too common. For the time being, as my former self would say, time to dip out. My more eloquent side would say so long, farewell, and until next time.