It’s hard to say no. No to one more glass of wine, no to a cigarette, no to a beer, a line, a pill, whatever. It all makes you feel good — calm and relaxed. It’s a trap for your senses and a prison for your mind. I would know. I’ve had a troubled relationship with alcohol over the years that’s eroded my relationships — many of whom are women. My male friends have forgiven me and passed it off as the usual banter every guy experiences with a night out. Even so, does that make it alright? I don’t think so. Actions have consequences — many of which you can’t take back.
I can’t take back what has already transpired, I can’t take back the money I’ve wasted, and I can’t bring back the relationships I lost. Self-forgiveness is just as important as an apology to someone you care about. As long as you live, you will fuck up. All you’re trying to do is keep it to a minimum. I’m often too hard on myself for past actions and behavior, but it gets better with time. Crack a joke about it and have a laugh. What else can you do?
The path of acceptance doesn’t come easy. You’ll feel guilty — which only makes you human. You might hate yourself for what you’ve done — which is normal. Being hard on yourself just means you realize your actions were wrong. Rightfully so. Take a step back, be mindful, and self-aware. Tomorrow is a new day.