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7AM Thoughts

It’s 7 AM.

It’s been a difficult month for me, which is an understatement. A number of things transpired which set me back a great deal. Somehow, I felt like all the progress I made up to this point vanished into thin air. I’m being a bit too hard on myself, I think. Even so, I’m just being realistic with myself, my behavior, and admitting defeat.

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In the open road, you may find yourself overwhelmed with life. I don’t think it’s all that uncommon to feel this way. My senses seem overloaded everyday and while the weekends are normally reserved for relaxing, it doesn’t happen. I need to turn down instead of turn up. When I wake up every morning, I take one hard look at myself in the mirror and ask myself: Who am I? Am I living? It’s purposely vague and opened ended to bring about as many thoughts as possible. It’s part of my morning ritual and it’s my way of staying grounded. I search my feelings, self-reflect, and meditate. I’d be hard pressed to find a better way to start the day.

I tend to wonder if people are looking out for me. I constantly feel the need to fend for myself from all the vices and temptations life throws at me. Call me crazy if you don’t agree. I have a great group of friends who are just a text message away, which is something I’m quite thankful for. They reply back instantly and hear me out — something I’m looking for — to just vent. This month seemed like my head wasn’t on straight and my mind was fogged up. The dust is clearing, but I’m not out of the woods just yet.

There’s much to do. So little time. Yet, here I am. Trapped in my thoughts. Feeling lost in the world. Pushing back. Later world.

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