Habits, Disconnecting & Loving Yourself

With just hours before the year is over, I like to remind myself that tomorrow will set the stage for the year to come. Make goals and New Years resolutions to better yourself and work on self-improvement. Whether it’s sticking with a workout plan everyday, running more, or trying to make new habits while quitting old ones, the first step is always to try. Coincidentally, it’s also the hardest. Effort is needed for anything. Give yourself as much time as you need to change your ways. Not all commitments stick. Often there are bad days, days you skip, and days you have the entire weight of the world on your shoulders.

It doesn’t deter me and shouldn’t anyone for that matter. You have 365 days to work on your goals. Setbacks are to be expected. They say you need three months to break a habit. That’s just 1/4th of the year to a new better you. With enough effort and determination, I firmly believe anything is possible. Three steps forward and two steps back is still a step in the right direction — forward. Don’t think otherwise.

Let go of the past and look forward for tomorrow. We often become fixated on past failures and restrict our ability to have new successes. I’ve personally had to deal with this the last few years with some limited success. It’s hard to move forward and it’s hard to let go. Self-forgiveness is a part of self-improvement and shouldn’t be overlooked. Forgive others, but more importantly, learn to love yourself for your mistakes. Some days I’m stuck in the past for all the shit I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. And while the memories fade and the sting associated hurts less, the feelings linger. That’s normal and you can’t expect to disappear all of a sudden.

No matter how next year goes, take a step back and see where you are. I think modern society is so addicted to their phones and computers we fail to stop to smell the roses. We’re too caught up in the virtual world that actual reality takes a backseat. Go for a walk around the neighborhood, reconnect with an old friend face-to-face, give yourself alone time, turn your fucking iWhatevers off, and ask yourself how you feel. Have time to self-reflect. To be human is to feel emotions and build relationships.

I think what’s great is listening to people’s thoughts and opinions. It’s refreshing to have a different perspective to ponder. You often think one way for so long you fail to see alternative views. For that reason, I always welcome a friendly disagreement. Tunnel vision is just that — narrow mindedness devoid of dissenting opinions. It’s in a way, a mental trap and I rather not have that. Hear both sides, including the ones that troubles your thoughts.

Of all the goals I met this year, I failed on a few big ones. I didn’t move out, I didn’t completely break-free from drugs and other substances, I didn’t always shut the fuck up, and I didn’t always have good habits to better my mental health. Fuck depression and fuck Xanax. For all that I didn’t accomplish, I don’t let it bring me down. There’s only so much you can plan for in the world of unknowns. Some days hit you like a truck and become blind sighted. Bad days, weeks, or months let you appreciate the good days you have. It’s terrifying, heartbreaking, and just the way life goes.






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