In all sense of the word, it’s okay to be single. Fly solo. Being in a committed relationship isn’t for everyone. People have a lot to go thru, myself included. If society tells you need to be someone to be “whole”, this couldn’t be further from the truth. There’s nothing wrong with being on your own. At least you’ll have time to work on yourself and hopefully, towards resolving issues you’re dealing with.
The worst anyone can do it to have a relationship with someone thinking they’ll magically be the solution to their inner turmoil. I’ve been asked how I can manage to be single for so long and my response is, “I have a few issues and goals in mind I’m working out.” I wish people could just understand this. Everyone ought to better themselves to the degree they see fit. We only have one life and if you’re going to be spending your life with someone, you should be the best you possible. Your problems become hers and that wouldn’t be fair. They call it “being tied down” for a reason.
You can’t truthfully know everyone when you go through the dating phase. Just hope she’s honest and open with herself. If there isn’t a dealbreaker in sight, then by all means make it official. No one is perfect — perfection doesn’t exist and is an enigma. For that reason, someone looking for perfection will be surely disappointed in the long run. Surprises are far and many, but it’s the nature of being with someone. Secrets are only shared among the closest most trusted. Be thankful you know more than what she shares at the surface level.
Individual happiness should take priority. Genuine happiness is hard to come by, but all the more reason to hold yourself to higher standard. Feeling loved and taken cared for is a great feeling that words can’t fully comprehend, but being completely reliant on your significant other is a recipe for disaster. To an extent, it’s your inner insecurities taking over and needing a quick bandaid as a solution. The bandaid has to come off eventually and you’ll be left with a scar as a reminder.
It’s difficult to know if what you’re doing now will lead to the road of happiness. If you can defend yourself against the world alone, you’ll have nothing to worry about. Build meaning relationships with others and learn to feel. Love blinds you and takes away time with friends. Learn to feel and become self-aware.