The Why In Life

What is the purpose of life?

This question bothers me to no end. In an age where everyone is connected digitally in some form or manner, why is it we lose touch with people? I’m thankful I have a group of very close friends I text daily and can confide in. Honesty and sincerity matters with friendship or companionship, yet it’s rarely seen. I love seeing someone in their state of vulnerability. It’s genuine, candid, and a glimpse into their soul — something real and unfiltered.

I fear not for living, but not seeing someone for who they really are. People often only want their best side to be broadcast online, but it’s far from the reality of life. You cry, get depressed, and generally have an awful time for at least a small portion of the year. That’s the reality of living. Without it’s downs, could you really say life’s special moments can exist? Candidness wins me over beauty any day. Add intelligence in the equation and I’m in love. To be close is to be vulnerable and open to pain and heartbreak. Yet, knowing the possible outcome doesn’t hold you back from being with someone or some person. Tell me your deepest darkest secrets and I’ll gladly tell you mines. I have problems and so do you.  If they convince you otherwise, that’s a lie. Anyone who paints a perfect picture of their life feels more like reality TV than live breaking news. We are people living in an imperfect world somehow surviving in the chaotic coldness of space. It’s amazing how we or anything exists.

I often use to fear not living long enough. They say the next person to live to 130 years old has been born already. While that sounds fascinating and incredible to comprehend, I ultimately think it’s what you do with your time on Earth that matters. It’s a matter of purpose and impact over duration any day. A life spent holding back and caught up in vices is precious time wasted. You can say this is why I’m often so outspoken and unhinged with my friends or love interests. Say you were dating someone for a while painting a picture of what you want to be rather than who you really are. Is that fair to your date? Is it not bait and switch in the clearest of form? She’ll figure out the real you quickly, so why worry about looking like Mister Perfect when you can relax and just be yourself?

Guys get too caught up on worrying about how they look to others. I chalk that up to insecurities more than anything. No man is immune to sadness and anyone one who says they don’t cry is a lie. We all get sad — only difference is how it manifests itself in you. Maybe your best friend nearly drinks himself to death after a hard break up, or has tears roll down his face when he talks about “her”, either way — raw human emotion is powerful, brutal, and yet strangely beautiful. Ask me, “What makes you sad?” and I’ll tell you with the utmost honesty if you’re willing to listen. If anything, you’re doing me a huge favor and one less session with the therapist.

There’s a quote from one of my favorite movies, “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering”. While normally, I don’t think too deeply about quotes from a science fiction movie, this one holds true. Fear is innate in us all. Whether it’s fear of rejection, death, loss, or something much darker and colder, with too much of it, eventually you will suffer. Don’t run from your fears or resist not thinking about them. Saying you’ll sleep on it, won’t make fear go away. Face them head on and battle your own inner demons. A life spent living in fear is one shackled on one foot and a prisoner of your own mind.

Personally, I use to fear death and the very thought of non-existence shook me to my core. Many sleepless nights resulted from this very thought. Only did I become honest with myself did I realize I don’t fear dying — I fear not living the life I could have had if I tried harder. While I often joke around about dropping out of college for an entire year, it was a miserable time spent thinking about fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Without purpose, fear manifests. Set goals and if they are met without much difficulty, be more ambitious. Anyone with a plan can meet any goal no matter how grand or big. It’s the truth and I’m a firm believer in personal responsibility. One who takes the first step in reaching their goal is one of action and direction.

It’s a miracle I’ve gotten so much done the past few years — honestly. High school was spent dicking around and not giving a fuck. Now, I’m respected (and somewhat feared) by my co-workers and peers. Amazing. I naively use to think the hardest part was finding some way of graduating college without a penny to my name or a major in mind. Looking back, higher education was a piece of cake once I started to give a fuck.

What is the key to life then? Don’t hold back. Tell everyone what you want to say now — not later. Be candid, honest, and real, both verbally and emotionally. Don’t fear living. Fear not being the real you in the short time we are alive. Sometimes you need to say fuck it and just do it. Ask that girl you’ve been eyeing and take her on a date. Call it a date too. Other times, you need to be alone and figure it out for yourself. Life will always throw a curve ball in your direction. Most days, it’s a miss. Either way, you’re human and not invulnerable to unwanted thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Be you and I’ll fucking love that more than anything else I can buy or own.

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