On Saturday of last week, I tried DMT — a strong psychedelic that occurs naturally in humans and is the main component in ayahuasca. Moments before the first puff, my friend assured me that I was in a safe place and in good hands in case I had a less than desirable reaction. He lit the lighter, placed it over the pipe and a few puffs later I saw what best can be described as the most vibrant array of colors imaginable. Think of those kaleidoscopes we use to play with as kids only magnified and much more intense. I remember briefly opening my eyes and my hands were unrecognizable — like they were someone elses.
I laid back on the chair and I found myself in a maze much like the ones you find in a M.C. Escher painting where there was seemingly no exit. Everything was full of color and of many vibrant hues. I was looking for something, but before I knew what, I was lifted into the cosmos — outside space. It was just me and no one else afloat in zero gravity. I felt suddenly connect to the world and more spiritually than I have in years past. Truly a feeling of enlightenment and levelheadedness I wanted all my life.
I never felt a sense of anxiety or fear in those moments up above. Just before I could fully grasp the magic happening around me, I opened my eyes and found myself back in reality or whatever we can call this life of existence. Everyone asked me how I felt and my only words were “bliss and enlightenment”. I loved those moments being teleported into another realm and that feeling of connectedness.
I use to fear psychedelics for what terrors in my head stayed locked in, but not anymore. People I betrayed, people I missed — both living and dead, I don’t feel anxiety for my past any longer. I’m truly at peace with myself and the world I’ve been fighting back against my whole life. Come at me. I’ve never been more ready to live.