My boss Sam asked me yesterday, “If you had children, would you spank them?”
“What if they misbehave?”
I will argue children don’t know any better. It’s natural to them to want to act out or be wild. They don’t have the confines adults do. They’re free and they know it. Why punish them for that? Can a 3 year old really know right from wrong? Of course not.
I see no distinction from child rearing and abuse. The action is the same and the result is too: pain. I see it as taking the easy way out. It’s a method of discipline only deserving of medieval times. It’s barbaric and only fitting for those without morals.
Sam agrees with my thoughts and candidly revealed he told himself he too would never do it. But he did. And he feels immense guilt for hitting his two young boys: one 5 and the other 7. He was angry and lost control. His boys resent him for that and he knows it to be true. They much rather prefer their mom than him.
“What do you think I should do?”
Apologize. Tell them sorry. Tell them you know how they feel about you. Admit you shouldn’t have done it. They most likely won’t understand your words now, but keep trying. Later on they will. It’s never too late. The sting passes with time and that’s the beauty of it.