The Curious Case of Julian

My long time best friend Julian has a new job opportunity and with it, new restrictive drug testing. This is where the story takes a sad turn. You see, my friend has smoked weed for the better part of maybe 6+ years daily and multiple times too. As a matter of fact, I can’t really recall a time where he has subsided from weed even for a short period. He’s maybe stopped smoking cigarettes for a few months at a time, but he substitutes it with weed. I call that a lesser of two evils.

My friends mom offered him the position stating she would put in a very good word with her people in hopes of him securing the job and substantially more than what he currently makes. Quite a kind and generous deed if you think about it. So just how is Julian holding up?


We’ve all known for some time he’s had insomnia and at worst, night terrors. The times we shared a room or a hotel, I can recall him mumbling and as far as screaming in fear. Whether he is aware of this is unclear. I’ve somewhat alluded to it in a handful of conversations, but was quickly shot down. We saw him yesterday night to watch Deadpool 2 and he looked God awful. He was slow, dismissive, and just lacked any energy whatsoever. Weed supposedly helps him sleep, but I have more than a few lingering doubts and other suspicions about that claim.

Colossal Waste of Money

Earlier in the year, I had what I thought was a fairly run of the mill question for him, “How much do you spend on weed in a year?”

“About $5000 dollars.”

I rest my case.


Not all is well in Julian Land, but his method of copping with life is worrisome. I don’t believe chronic weed abuse will lead him down to salvation, a better life, or magically cure him of his obvious ailments with is tattered body. He dependent on weed and is cranky without it. He drives like absolute shit without it.

“Weed, it’s a plant. It just grows like that.” — Katt Williams

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